Sux in the City

 Reply | vakoop3poip@yahoo.com to me, Postmaster
show details Jul 8

fromp vakoop3poip@yahoo.com
reply-to <vakoop3poip@yahoo.com>

toWebmaster

ccPostmaster <randyv2003@gmail.com>

dateFri, Jul 8, 2011 at 7:21 AM
subjectHello!!

hide details Jul 8

Good day !
My name Yuliya. I know that it was  surprise  for you to hear from me.You
did not know me before but I will be very glad if you will want it.I use the
agency dating search of relations service which helps me to looking fora man
from  abroad.I hope that you are not against that I choose you.They found
you on dating site and gave me your e-mail address.
I am lonely woman who want to create a strong family with real true  man.I
am 30 years old.I do not have children but I love them and I want to have
them with my dear man in the future.
I have  good job and I like to read.
If you agree we can learn each other more and better.I will give my picture
and talk more about me and maybe you will
like me and interested in me.
I am waiting for your reply.
My e-mail address is kashapowa.jul@yandex.ru
Have atake care,Yuliya.

—————————-{MY REPLY}——————-

Yuyu (that is my nickname for you… I hope you don’t mind!)
 
I am so glad you wrote to me. I was just considering how sick I am of stupid men and how I’d like very much to be a lesbian with a woman in El Salvador. You are from El Salvador, aren’t you? Or maybe Bangkok. Yes, Yuyu sounds very Taiwanese.
 
I’m really looking forward to the day we can get married. please tell me more about you, Yuyu Vakoop.
 
Sincerely,
 
Your new (manly) girlfriend,
 
Shaquintala
 
xoxo

—————————————————————————

Needless to say, I’m very excited and I can’t wait to see where this relationship goes. I think it’s true love.

fromMrs. Lipi Begum Ting lookandlearn@une.net.co
reply-tobarrister.phuong@ibibo.com

to
dateSat, Jul 23, 2011 at 10:59 PM
subjectHello Sir/Madam
mailed-byune.net.co

Hello,

My name is Mrs. Lipi Begum Ting.C.E.O,OceanLipiSeaFood LTD.
I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to you.
For charitable goals.

I am 59 years old and was diagnosed for cancer about 2 years ago,
kindly Contact my lawyer through this email address or you can call
his private Lin :(+855973449186) (barrister.info.phuong AT ibibo.com) if you are
interested in carrying out this task, so that he can arrange the release
of the funds to you.

My lawyer’s name is Barrister Nguyen Yu Phuong. I know I have never
met you but my mind instincts me to do this, and i hope you act sincerely.

Thank you and God bless you.

Mrs. Lipi Begum Ting.

5: The number of Red Line trains I sat through before I got to one I could push onto

89: The number of degrees in fahrenheit it is in my apartment - even with a window AC unit and 2 fans

2: The number of Ikea picture frames in my apartment that collapsed due to the glue melting

… and finally….

4: The number of pointless, whiny complaints in this blog.

The end.

Long story short: Alfred E. Neuman’s illegitimate son works at the gas station by my parent’s house. OK, so perhaps he doesn’t look that bad, but he really does bare a striking resemblance to the dude on the cover of MAD Magazine.

Today, as I approached the counter, Alfred reached out to grab at my items as I was setting them on the counter, then decided to inform me that he wasn’t trying to stick his hand down my shirt. Not quite sure how to respond, I quipped, “It’s OK - I’m good at juggling” to which he responded: “Yeah - you’ve got a pretty great bookshelf there!” while smiling at my chest.

Since when is it OK to refer to a customer’s chest as a “great bookshelf”?! Come to think of it, when is it OK to reference a customer’s chest, period?