Sux in the City

In the past week, I’ve had two former coworkers call me in full-on “OMFG YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED…” mode. 

1. Receptionist at one former job sent a department manager to pick up an “emergency prescription” for “her daughter”. Dude (mgr) gets arrested while leaving pharmacy. Turns out girl had forged over 100 prescriptions for painkillers… and set him up. Everyone gets arrested. It’s one big party in jail until they figure out the manager is innocent. Chick, however, rots away in jail… and uses her one phone call to call my former mgr. and tell her she can’t make it into work, so she’ll have to quit. Heh. 

2. Another former coworker for a non-profit city-government-esque place I worked for called me today. Turns out one of our former coworkers (a woman in her 50’s who just happened to be our boss’ BFF) starred in a rather unflattering porno that’s now making it’s way around the neighborhood via a porn site. This is the same diligent worker that stole $8,000 from a bank she worked at before being employed with us… but that’s neither here nor there. 

This is making me wonder what sort of creepy job qualifications I’m living up to…

Prash: “I’m a cage free egg, yo”

Francois: “CageFreeEgg.coooom!”

“I know that’s what people say— you’ll get over it. I’d say it, too. But I know it’s not true. Oh, you’ll be happy again, never fear. But you won’t forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him.” 
― Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

I love ignorant ass people. Someone just sent me a message saying he’d “give me an adventure if I’m willing” and “Gringos love Latinas” to which I replied that he should probably go find a Latina then.

He responds with “I do prefer Latinas over dry, boring white American women. YUCK!”

Um…

To dream that you miss your connection flight indicates that you are feeling helpless and trapped by some situation. You feel that you are being held back, either physically or mentally. Alternatively, the dream may also suggest that you are feeling disconnected in some aspect of your life - work, relationship or home life.

Seat hogs on the CTA should be forced to share seats with homeless men that have recently peed themselves.

I frequently have dreams about being on a train. In these dreams, I either miss my train, miss my stop, can’t find the bathroom, etc. Ironically, these dreams usually happen when I’m in a transitional state of sorts in my life.

Usually when I wake up, I’ve already forgotten most of the details dream but instead wake up thinking about the time I was somewhere in Portugal with my friend Felix, waiting for the train. I recall standing on the edge of the platform in this tiny station in a town off of the map somewhere near the Portugal/Spain border, 3am in the middle of nowhere.

Read More →

Spotted: One 30-something man wearing a blood-stained women’s thong on his head having a serious convo on his cell phone about how he refuses to do business with someone because “he is shady is fuck” and that is “against his morals”.

I guess even men that wear dirty thongs on their head have high moral standards.

…only in my neighborhood.